Marriage
Why Marriage Matters
Recently on X, there was a small movement proclaiming the value of marriage. These are my thoughts on the matter.
Declaring the Base
As a Christian, there are certain things I believe about marriage as a direct result of Scripture, and some of those principles are foundational to the conclusions I will draw in this article. As a result, I will mention them here before beginning. I mention these specifically to support my conclusions and not with the intent to incite debate. If you disagree with one or more of these principles, then you may not agree with some of my conclusions, as my conclusions are drawn in part from these foundational principles. Also, I do not mention these principles from any position of moral superiority, for I am a sinner in dire need of Jesus Christ. As Paul said:
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15-16 NIV
With that said, here are the marriage principles relevant to this article:
- Marriage should be for life.
- “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6 ESV
- “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32 ESV
- Marriage should be monogamous, and sexual intimacy should be reserved for marriage.
- “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4 ESV
- Marriage should be between one man and one woman.
- “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9 ESV
- If possible, a married couple should have children.
- “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28 ESV
Marriage Intensifies
Marriage realizes the deepest form of intimacy and commitment available to us. A lifelong, faithful marriage is rich with love. A husband and wife faithfully serving and loving one another will find a new fervor for the things they do. Personally speaking, I have found my desire to work, both professionally and personally, intensified by being married and having children. I love them all dearly, and working to provide for them is a huge motivator in my daily life, and many others on X have shared similar experiences. This is also reflected in personal efforts, even in minor actions like a “honey-do” around the house. The deep trust afforded by the lifelong commitment provides a valuable security when serving one another, and it intensifies all aspects of your relationship and your desires.
Marriage Sanctifies
Marriage sanctifies us, refining us over time as we change to better serve and love our spouse. For Christians, sanctification is the process by which the Holy Spirit gradually removes sin from our life to make us holier and more like Christ. Personal faults are made readily apparent in marriage, and so they cannot be avoided like might be possible in other relationships. It provides the exposure of faults as well as motivation to change them in ourselves out of love for our spouse. This also occurs with the reduction of free time which comes from having children. While there is still free time even with kids, it is reduced substantially, especially in the early days. At first, this is difficult to cope with as you lose the convenience in scheduling that excess free time affords you. As you adjust, this forces you to evaluate what you spend your time on, cutting out the dross that is not worth your time. You reflect more on what truly matters to you and spend the time you have accordingly. You are forced and motivated to cull out personal faults both in personality and time-spend, bettering your character and focusing your efforts.
Marriage Glorifies
Marriage glorifies Jesus Christ and our spouse, turning our ego away from ourselves. Husbands and wives are required to serve one another, submitting and sacrificing themselves for the bettering of the other. The Bible draws an analogy comparing Jesus Christ and the church to a husband and wife Ephesians 5:22-27. Too often the first half of these verses are used diminishingly to compel wives into submission, but these scenarios usually omit the obscenely high calling of the husband to “…love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,…” It is a two-way street leading to self-sacrifice out of a deep love for one another, and it is a beautiful analogy of the deep love that Jesus Christ and His church have for one another. This self-sacrifice is only possible when the marriage is built on public, loving, trusting, life-long commitment.